Hamburger Helper
“...rational thinking is exhausting; emotional reacting is exhilarating…”
My sister accused Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of wanting to eliminate hamburgers from the American diet. I suggested that she try a burger made with ground lamb, or ground bison. I reminded her that the planet Earth is a closed system. My sister did not want to talk about the deleterious effect of methane on the environment. She announced that she was ceasing all political debate on beef cattle flatulence. I sent her my recipes for lamborghini and bison meatloaf.
The Federalist Society
Jay Michaelson “Leonard Leo is a visionary. Twenty years ago he realized that conservatives had lost the culture war. If public opinion prevailed, conservatives didn’t have a chance. He realized that conservatives needed to stack the courts. Directly or through surrogates, Leo has placed dozens of life-tenured judges on the federal bench.
"Leonard Leo is most closely associated with the Federalist Society. The Federalist Society is a right-wing network that grooms conservative students still in law school, mentors them, finds them jobs, and eventually places them in courts and in government. The Federalist Society is like a large-scale fraternity, knitted together by ideological conformity.
“Leonard Leo, a Catholic fundamentalist, has put three justices on the Supreme Court… Roberts, Alito, Gorsuch… and he’s about to get a fourth, Brett Kavanaugh. He has spent a career shaping the federal judiciary to reflect rigid, conservative religious dogma.”
Boss Hogg
In 1970, the embattled president Richard Nixon tried to change the conversation with an extravagant July Fourth celebration, A Salute to America. On the National Mall, police set up barricades between war protesters and the seated audience. Just as the show was about to get underway, protesters overturned a Good Humor ice cream truck and anti-riot police moved in. Some protesters threw bottles. The police threw a tear-gas canister and the cloud of tear-gas accidentally wafted over the back rows of the audience. As he prepared to go on stage, master of ceremonies Bob Hope looked out at the chaos and remarked, “It looks like Vietnam, doesn’t it?”
Donald Trump also called his desecration of the Lincoln Memorial A Salute to America. The New York Times opened their write-up of the event with, “In a 45-minute speech delivered behind rain-streaked bulletproof glass…” I’m sending my thoughts and prayers to the men and women in uniform who participated in Trump’s Fourth of July spectacle. Trump has returned to Mar-a-Lago to spend the long holiday weekend cheating at golf.
Mind Games
William Rivers Pitt “The people whose bank accounts and political associations allow them to exist above the law don’t just win, they rub their victories in our faces, because cruelty and mockery are the new cool for the untouchables. Deliberately, they scramble the conversation, because victory lies within that disruption. Weaponized insincerity is an essential element of fascism. Despair is contagious and right now it is spreading.”
Trail Mix
“Part of the dystopian character of Trump’s presidency is his ubiquity. He dominates the news cycle, late night TV and book publishing. Trump exists as a constant atmospheric disturbance.”
“Our plodding reality-based Democrats don’t seem to realize that a faster tempo is required.”
“Unfiltered politics prizes agility more than honor. Only the innovative will beat Trump.”
“Trump doesn’t change the character of the people around him, he reveals it.”
“One of the great missions of the press is to hold power accountable by revealing what those in power would rather hide. Corruption depends on concealment. Accountability hinges on disclosure.”
High Noon
Note to red-state Texas and red-state Ohio. You voted Republican. You voted FOR mass murder. At this weekend’s Red State Rodeo, the winner of the Active Shooter Competition is Patrick Crusius of Allen, Texas, with 23 kills. Second place goes to Connor Betts of Dayton, Ohio, with 9 kills. The awards will be presented by Wayne LaPierre of the NRA. Stay tuned for the list of family members, friends, teachers, psychologists and law enforcement officers who knew Crusius and Betts were potential mass murderers and did nothing to stop them.
Vinegaroon
Frank Bruni “There is grumbling in the White House. Jared is an annoyance. He only goes outside if his suit won’t get dirty and his hair won’t get wet. The pallid prince is now responsible for speeding the construction of the border wall.”
Welcome to the Southwest, Mr Kushner. There are a few things you need to know about who else lives in these parts. I’ve never seen a Gila monster, but I have saved a few rattlesnakes by coaxing them off the road with a long spruce branch. I have saved a few migrating tarantulas from certain death on the highway. You might find small scorpions cavorting around the edge of your shower drain. Google <vinegaroon> and you’ll be shocked at what I almost stepped on in my bare feet in my kitchen. Google <child of the earth> and <centipede> and you’ll see what might be moving along your baseboard in your bedroom at night. I have never been stung by a killer bee, but in my sleep I was bitten on my left cheek just below my eye by a brown recluse spider. Thankfully, I’m a light sleeper. I swept the spider off my face before too much venom was released and spanked the brown recluse to death with a Forbes magazine. There are cacti everywhere, indoors and out. Complimentary tweezers are in the bathroom. I hope you enjoy your stay with us, and… good luck getting the Mexicans to pay for that wall.
Andy Borowitz “Trump Concerned That American Voters Will Interfere in the 2020 Election”
I enjoy reading your insights, Greg.